Saturday, November 27, 2010

I still have problems getting used to my new size...

It's been exactly 5 years since I got to my goal weight through Weight Watchers. It was around Thanksgiving because I remember seeing some high school friends who hadn't seen me since I had lost all the weight and I remember how self-concious I was that night. What would they say, how would they treat me? It turned out okay, I got a bunch of compliments and free drinks, so I can't complain...
Anyway, for those of you who have lost a lot of weight, it's a complete body transformation. And even though you have been working so hard at losing the weight and changing your physical self, you may have not yet prepared yourself mentally for the change. You still see yourself as the big, fat chick so clothes shopping is usually a challenge. This may last for awhile. Case in point...
I was at Target the other day looking at the yoga pants. Since I am short (God, I wish I was 5'8"), I have to get pants in a short length and they are really hard to find for exercise pants. So I always grab two sizes in exercise pants, shorts, shirts, etc. Large and Medium. I can't get myself out of the large mentality. But, it is difficult for me to think otherwise. And everytime, I put on the large, it is always too big. I then put on the medium which fit. (Small will never be on the radar, I do not have a small frame) Why is it so hard for me to accept that larges are too big and after all this time? Scars I guess from our former selves. Plus, we are so used to using our clothes to HIDE ourselves, it is difficult for us to use clothes to show off our best assets. So, I dedicate this to all my ladies (and men) out there losing weight. Yes, you are changing physically and you look beautiful. You also need to prepare yourself mentally for how small you are becoming.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

It's not too early to start making your 2011 resolutions

So, my husband and I had a wonderful meal last night with another couple that we haven't seen in at least 2 years. Sounds hard to believe when the husband in the couple was our best man! Anyway, it was nice to enjoy 3-4 hours of their company along with some wine and great Italian food.
We talked a lot last night about things for us to do in the future. Possible double family trip to the Outer Banks. I've never been there and my husband and I have been talking about renting a house one summer. Is this the year to do that? We also talked about skiing. The wife had only been skiing once as had I. So, at least if we are going to 2 newbies on the slopes, we can do it together. We also talked about a long weekend trip to the Adirondacks to try hiking one of the high peaks again.
The skiing and hiking a high peak is something really important to me for numerous reasons, but mostly because the last time I did both of those things, I was severly overweight. I still remember skiing for the first time and HATING every minute of it. It was hard to move, to steady yourself on the slopes when you had so much excess weight to carry. I still remember how embarrasing it was when I rented equipment and they asked me how much I weighed. I, of course, lied and said 180 (which still big) but clearly I was pushing to 200's at that point. Anyway, skiing is something I would like to try again because I am in MUCH better shape now, a lot stronger due to my strength training, and because I don't have that excess weight any longer. Another reason I want to try skiing again: I'm kind of a scaredy cat. I get scared when taking chances so I would really like to push myself outside of my comfort zone. Heck, I never thought I could run a half-marathon and I did!
The hiking thing is different story. Last time I went hiking with them, I barely made it off the mountain, I kid you not. I was clearly not prepared for the physical strength and stamina you would need to hike a mountain and it was one of the most hellish experiences in my life. I was still heavy, although not as heavy as the skiing weight. But, I was not in great physcial shape. I remember my husband coaching me and urging me off the mountain and me saying, "go ahead without me, I'm just going to sleep with the animals!" One of the worst experiences in my life. So, why do I want to try it again. See the skiing reasons but it also has a lot to do with proving something to yourself. And I need to prove to myself that I am strong, I am powerful and can accomplish anything!
I would like to add "run a marathon" to these resolutions. I just hope my body can heal in time!